A warning to all romantic couples-kissing is practically deadly.

It'a amazing what constitutes a news story these days. Normally the news is a drab affair. "Fighting broke out in the Gaza Strip today leaving hundreds dead and thousands injured," and "So and so tragically died today aged 80."

But every now and then you get one of those classic news stories that can't fail to make you giggle. Stories like this one-http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7772902.stm

This quote from a Doctor is classic:

"The kiss reduced the pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear."

What the hell was she kissing, a Dyson vacuum cleaner? Or more to the point what the hell was the guy doing to suck so hard as to destroy her inner ear?

OK, I'm no kissing expert, but even someone with my limited knowledge surely couldn't get it so catastrophically wrong as to leave my girl semi deaf.

I bet this girl is petrified of kissing now. While most would normally crave a passionate smacker on the lips, this girl will now probably break down in tears at even the sight of someones lips. Poor girl.

But what other injuries could be sustained by kissing? We've all heard of the classic tongue stuck in the braces, but up until now that's the only snogging injury I'd ever heard of.

But I wonder when we'll hear the story of the poor girl who sustained a broken nose when her over enthusiastic boyfriend headbutted her when attempting a kiss, and I bet someone has cricked a neck during one of those kisses where you keep moving your head around. What would you do if your jaw locked open during a kiss, that would be pretty annoying, and I wonder if anyone has ever bitten someones tongue off? I can see it happening somehow.

I did a bit of research on the interweb, but the only injury I found was someone who lost their lips when they kissed their Rottweiler. I mean that's just asking for an injury.

But anyway, the funny thing is that the Chinese media is now being swarmed with warnings of the dangers of excessive kissing.

Just the image of a Chinese guy meeting a woman in a bar, having a really good time, and taking her back to his place before convulsing in horror when she goes to kiss him, the thought of having his eye sucked out by an over exuberant kiss proving too much to bear.

Thankfully for the girl involved in the story, her hearing should return within two months, but that's two months of whispering sweet nothings into her ear that she'll miss. Then again, she'll probably never want to hear them again anyway.